He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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