it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
