its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
