yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
