is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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