Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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