i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
