they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
