This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
