dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize