eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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