whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
