she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
