Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
