I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
