i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
