Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
