we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i love accidental penises.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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