Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
