Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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