your room smells of hookers.
And success
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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