I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize