Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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