two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
