Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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