Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
