I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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