so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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