Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
