She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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