My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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