Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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