I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
should my penis look like a turkey
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
