just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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