Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
