Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
