How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
