Im at strip club and am horny
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
