i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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