they need to just BURY HIM!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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