fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
