i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
