please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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