I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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