just come out here and I will go home with you...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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