im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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