no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
