Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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