READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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