i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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