at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
