i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
