areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well I just put wine in my tea
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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