Do you still have your period?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
