Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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