We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
