I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
