Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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