Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
