I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
