her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sorry about my life...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize